In the photo above, I show my little home office, with the cozy sofa that converted into a bed for guests.  Across the room, I had a little office nook for my computer.  I had shelves with lots of books.  Then everything went downhill.

Two years ago, on May 6, 2019, my life changed dramatically.  I fell or lost my way, ending up on the floor for hours…and then a friend discovered my predicament and called 911.

After spending four days in the hospital, I had a diagnosis and treatment plan that would involve surgery.  It sounded simple enough, but it would be several months before the surgery could be done…and in the meantime, my kids persuaded me to move into an Assisted Living Facility.  I say “persuaded,” but most of the time I felt like I had no real choice.

For the past two years, I have felt a combination of resentment and gratitude.  Yes, it has helped to be in an apartment with housekeeping services, laundry, and food preparation.  But, those are mixed blessings, too.  Loss of control, etc.  And with the lockdown of 2020 that went on for more than a year, I lost even more of my independence, thanks to the rules of this very controlling establishment.  For most of 2019, I was able to come and go, using Lyft and going out with friends.  That all changed in March 2020.

Now restrictions have loosened and I am fully vaccinated.  But I cannot gain back what I lost.

My small studio apartment is my solace, as I have slowly added some old favorites, along with some new ones.  My bookshelves are growing (most of my books did not come with me here).  And favorite photos are on my walls. Even some dolls have joined me.


My laptop computer is my best companion, as I write my blogs, review books, and watch shows and movies on the streaming services.


So perhaps some might ask what I’m complaining about…since there has been good with the not-so-good.  But loss of independence is not something I can take lightly.  Yes, I did have quite a bit of freedom before the Pandemic.  But that year changed everything.  The staff here make most of the choices for us…and it is hard not to wish things were different.

My attitude could use some more adjusting right now.  But considering how things have unfolded between two years ago and now, I might have to accept that some losses cannot be regained.

Until another day…any thoughts from other bloggers?



  1. Change is difficult for most of us for sure but, deep down it’s important to realize that those who are advising us are usually looking out for our best interests. Thank goodness all worked out for you even though that loss of independence isn’t easy to accept. I’m happy you were able to make you new place special with your favorite things.

    I convinced my husband, who is significantly older than I am, for us to cut down to one car as he rarely drove except for a haircut, CVS and doc appts. It’s been 1.5 years and has worked out fine but, still talks about how he’d like a car. It would be crazy to consider at this point though.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Look I am completely with you – I would hate the lack of independence. Especially when you weren’t really quite ready for it. If only you weren’t under the institution thumb. Sure there are advantages and I do get that, and of course it makes family happy. But rail away I say. It’s a big loss really and would take lots of adjustment, which you have done well, but still.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Kathryn, I’ve been feeling a lot of frustration, especially since I have always been a person to do things “my way,” like good old Frank Sinatra, LOL

      The Pandemic definitely exacerbated the feelings of loss, and even though I usually handle isolation pretty well, being an introvert, add to that the feeling of being “under the thumb” of the administration here, with their rules and pronouncements, I haven’t always dealt with things well. Sometimes I mouth off to other residents, trying to stir things up. When I get those urges, I need to hide away in my apartment. This week, I’ve only been to the dining room a couple of times.

      Thanks for the good thoughts and I hope we can hang in there, enjoying our books and viewing!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think that I would have a really hard time adjusting to a move like this and the isolation of the pandemic would have only made it a more difficult adjustment. I think that you are more than justified in feeling a little upset by the situation but I hope that as restrictions lift, things start looking up for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Carole, I hope so, too! I don’t like the loss of control, and the timing of this move was definitely not the best, with the Pandemic!

      But…it could have been worse. And maybe I was in the right place for that whole event. I do get annoyed, however, when the people in charge here take on a “rah rah” attitude, as if they are cheerleaders for a bunch of children who might forget the rules. LOL


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